As the shuttle rose from the surface of that desolate planet, Harold found himself contemplating just what he had done to deserve this? In retrospect, it might have had something to do with his name; Harold was hardly a fierce some name for a Space Pirate. He’d had ample opportunity to change it, but who wants to wait in line at the Department of Criminal Activities to register a new handle? I mean, come on, you have to go all the way to Planet Alegria (funny name for a bureaucracy planet), park in the pay zone, take a number from that beige dispenser on the wall- somewhere in the high thousands and then queue for what seems like hours until that snooty, green chick with the three lazy eyes spits out your number with contempt. Like she’s so much better because she has a Government job?!
Sure, Harold didn’t strike fear into the average person/thing/what have you, but he’d heard of plenty of other professionals that made do, so why shouldn’t he? What would he have chosen anyway? Harold the Horrible?- Sounds like a children’s literary character from the 1980’s. Harold the Nefarious?- most people couldn’t spell nefarious, let alone understand it’s meaning. Hmm, how about, Harold the Criminal…now that’s just insulting.
Well, he would have plenty of time to consider his new name while he waited for his crew to realise their mistake. While they may be stupid, they were hardly dumb and neither was he, he’d kept the treasure.