Something for Christmas

tree christmas.jpg

Photo courtesy of

Enough Balls



“Balls, it’s always balls, why not squares or triangles, shit, even a few dodecas’d make a fuckin’ change from all the balls.”

“Dude, it’s like this every year, you’re just gonna have to get over it.”

“Na, not this year, this year’s gonna be different.”

“What are you thinkin’, Charlie?”

Charlie’d been at Crystal Geyser Giveaways since the plant’d closed five years ago and Jeff’d been there since high school. Heck, shy of a miraculous intervention, the pair of them’d be there until the world ended or the store blew up and given Store Manager – Carl’s ever increasing venom towards Charlie, it was becoming clearer and clearer which was more likely.

“Dude, I’ve seen that smile before”.

Charlie couldn’t shake it. Something had finally snapped.

“Dude, that’s the smile you made before you pulled Janey-Lee’s pants down during recess.”

“That was funny.”

“Yeah, but the noise you made when her foot impacted would have made animals wince.”

Charlie stopped smiling.

“I mean it, man, don’t do it.”

“It’s too late.”

The pair looked up at the goliath tree. A crowd had gathered, as it always did. The kids ran around, the parents drank eggnog and Carl smiled that shit-eating grin of his and reached for the mike.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Crystal Geyser Giveaways is pleased to present our gift to you this Festive Season.”

There aren’t words for the expression on Carl’s face, but Charlie would never forget what stuck out from between those balls that year.



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